Wednesday, November 11, 2009

cutting the cord


number 2 son started school in september. we made the decision to put him in chinese school, since he misses the start date for american kindergarten. we were very excited about him being able to learn the language and to speak it fluently. i cannot tell you what a stress this has added to our lives. every night he asks if tomorrow is a school day. there are tears and pleadings. one evening he came in while i was cooking dinner and said he must speak to me alone. he told me how he hated school and didn't want to go back. he rides the bus in the morning, with four of his friends from the neighborhood. the bus attendant usually has to carry him away crying and then he watches me out the window for as long as he can. i have visited the school and dropped in unannounced and the teachers are loving and patient. i wonder how long it will be before he is comfortable. in between the lines i pull out snips of happiness. new songs learned, playing ball with new friends, reading circle. i think most of this comes from him being my last child. he is the only one that has had my sole attention, as the others were all in school. so days of having his mom all to himself have not served him well, and lets face it, he is my baby. after his first days of school the teacher sent home a progress report for the week. this is what it said:




Parrish, you are not stable in the mornings. you cry because you miss your mom.
you are a good boy and we all like you very much




i thought this very sweet. i hope soon he will adjust. my friend whose daughters go to the same school are in their second year. the first year they weren't always so thrilled to be there but now are quite happy. lets hope it doesn't take us a year.




5 comments:

mythopolis said...

very sweet...I will always remember the sinking feeling of my kid's first day of school...the idea that he was there and not with me, was quite disconcerting...

Cairo Typ0 said...

I hope he grows to like school more. Poor little guy. :(

Christine Gram said...

I don't think it's true that alone time with mommy has been a disservice to him. He just needs time to adjust. Is he learning the language too? Speaking from experience with my son, that can be very overwhelming. Starting school and having to learn a new language at the same time.

A few things helped us:
Picking him up for lunch. This seemed to regenerate him for the second half of the day and gave him something to look forward to in the morning.

Going to bed MUCH earlier. Seriously, I had to move bedtime up from 9 to 7 before it seemed like he wasn't completely exhausted by the end of school.

Having one on one playdates with some friends from the class.

Every kid is different but it did take our son a long time to enjoy school. Just be patient and let him vent when he comes home.

lizzy-loo said...

thanks for the support

Ballerina Girl said...

I don't know....
when we first went to VZLA R cried all the time when he went to school also. He hated that school. I switched him to the American school their for pre-k and it was an instant change. (then again, he did the same thing in his mommy day's out program when we lived in Houston, but he was only 3 then)
I would just keep watch on it....
Good luck!

BG