Thursday, November 05, 2009

aging

i suppose time creeps up on all of us. i saw myself in a picture not long ago and i thought wow, that's not me. i have blond hair and wear a size 4. Even looking into the mirror it doesn't really connect. i hate it though. not the fact that i have changed but the fact that others cannot see me in the way i do. i still feel 16. i still think of myself as blond. i know that i have grown and changed, that i understand things in ways i did not as a youth, but i still have dreams and desires, some of them may have matured a bit but they are basically the same. i wonder if others feel the same as me. if in every old lady you see there is a tiny ballerina wanting to get up and spin about. if only they could.


these bodies of ours can be burdensome. although they are marvelous and amazing i am finding that mine is beginning to hold me back. i want to go out to dinner and savor the last cheesecake crumb. i want to jump and run and spin, but i find myself not as limber as i used to be. i want to read without putting glasses on. i think the hardest part of all this is i want someone to notice that girl that is still inside of me. her time is done now, and new and exciting things await the person i am now. someday though we will be reunited she and i, and i hope she is happy with what she became.

5 comments:

Cairo Typ0 said...

I notice how much i've aged when i look at my wedding photos. It wasn't that long ago! LOL

jenniwhit said...

I know exactly how you feel!! I know i am still 16 inside. Love you, glad you are blogging again.

Christine Gram said...

This hit me today too when I read about celebrations of the 20th anniversary of the Berlin wall coming down. It shocked me, because I remember that as an adult, not a child, and it made me realize I've been an adult for a long time.

mythopolis said...

My body feels the years, but my mind still likes to play like a child!

BLOGitse said...

We all have the same problem, specially today's world.
But
I'm ok with my age because I'm 'crazy' enough.
Yesterday my hubby taught me to play guitar
and my two fingertips are sore today!